When Life Hurts

I don't usually read the morning paper,

but today's front page headlines caught my attention

 

It read:

"Burials begin in Connecticut"

I looked down at a picture of a hearse

carrying the body of a 6-year old child

and my heart sank 

I blinked hard to stop the tears

I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes

I couldn't cry there.

I turned the paper over

(as if not seeing it would make it less real)

and

was

shocked

by what was printed directly on the back side of the tragedy

Bold, brightly colored advertisements for

toys on sale

gift suggestions

pictures of more stuff to buy

(as if what we really need right now is more stuff)

The message rang out loud and clear...

that sometimes life is...

contradictory

confusing

cruel

Sometimes life hurts

In fact, just yesterday I was thinking about the 5 year-old girl in this picture

remembering the... 

fear

uncertainty

unspoken pain

she felt as her mother lay sick in the hospital... on this picture day

It's like a tragic headline with colorful ads on the back

"Smile for the camera, sweetie"

But who wants to smile when life hurts?

She eventually managed this forced little smile to disguise the fact

that she had already learned that even children are sometimes left feeling...

helpless

sad

alone

I understand it better now and wish that I could

sit down with her

pull her up onto my lap

hold her close

and

just let her cry...

I would apologize for not giving her the opportunity to grieve that experience;

for minimizing her pain and lying to her that she was alright. 

I would apologize for teaching her to wear a mask,

and making her pretend to be strong when she was only a child.

If I had it to do all over again...

I would let her cry

and after her tears subsided

I would pull her in really tight 

and quietly whisper

Now let me tell you who to call...

the next time when life hurts

Hair Sessions, Life Lessons

I've been hearing her voice lately...

Which in itself is not totally uncommon because I've been hearing her voice my entire life. 

Lately however, I've been hearing the things she said to me along with the things she didn't say.

and I've just recently come to understand

what she meant when she spoke

what she really wanted me to know

what she said that I didn't yet comprehend

I get it now.  She had a lot to say and we had the time.

I wonder if this is why girls have longer hair than boys

So that we have the time

to sit

and listen

and learn

the lessons that we will carry into our lives as

women

wives

mothers

Is this why my "early year hair sessions" were a weekend long production?

Friday night...

wash

detangle

plait

to dry overnight.

Saturday morning...

press

part

grease

and braid into ponytails.

Sunday morning...

untie

brush

parade

gladly showing the result of her handiwork.

I've been hearing her voice lately...

Friday night...

close your eyes

lean your head back

be still

Saturday morning...

hold your ear

relax

be still

Sunday morning...

you look just like your father

move your hand

BE STILL!

Now that I am a mother I realize that

everything she did

everything she said and

even what she didn't say

laid the foundation for the moments that I am now living

And I've been hearing her voice lately...

"Stand on His Word"

"Trust God, He'll see you through"

"Be Anxious for nothing"

Friday night...

wash

(live a clean life; don't let dirt get into your eyes)

detangle

(know when to fight, know what to surrender)

plait

(learn how to hold it together)

to dry overnight

(some things just take time)

Saturday morning...

press

(and some kinks only surrender to heat)

part

(learn how to separate yourself)

grease

(let the oil of gladness saturate your mind)

and braid into ponytails

(then do what it takes to stay out of a tangled mess)

Sunday morning...

untie

(which means you must know when to release and let go)

brush

(because a good bristle has its proper place)

parade

(but always let your walk show His goodness)

"One day I won't be around anymore to tell you these things"

"But you will hear my voice reminding you"

"And you're gonna miss me when I'm gone"

Friday night...

close your eyes

(pray without ceasing)

lean your head back

(then look to the hills for help)

be still

(and see the salvation of the Lord)

Saturday morning...

hold your ear

(you can't listen to everyone)

relax

(trust in God)

be still

(don't try to control everything)

Sunday morning...

you look just like your father

(don't ever forget who you belong to)

move your hand

(let Him work it out)

BE STILL!

(know that He is God!)

It's amazing what you can hear when you

don't even realize that you are listening

But I've been hearing her voice lately...

And I'm grateful for our many

hair sessions

life lessons

"Moriah, come have a seat" 

lean your head back...

close your eyes....

relax...

Just be still, child.

"Thanks Mom"

(Now it is my turn to teach the class)

Next hair lessons...

Detangle With Care

Hair Dance

Hair Free... My Daughter's Journey

Hair Free... My Journey
Wash and Go Hair for Black Naturals

Muffin Tin Crayons... (Week 2)

Ever wonder what to do with

all of those broken crayons?

Start at the beginning...

Crayon Sorting

What we did:

Set out sorting bowls and labeled the paper.

My helper, Micah snapped the crayons

put the pieces into the corresponding bowls.

Our crayons were now ready for...

Muffin Tin Crayons

What to do: 

Spray an old muffin tin with nonstick cooking spray

(one you never intend to use for food)

Add the crayon pieces and put into the oven at

250 degrees for about 15 minutes or melted. 

Cool and freeze the entire tray.

Lesson Learned: 

This process does take some perfecting.

If your "muffin crayons" don't turn out as expected,

use them for...

Shaved Crayon Art

What I did: 

Took the failed muffin crayons and "shaved" them

with a butter knife.  Apply tacky glue and  shavings to a

sheet of paper, grab a matte and a frame, and voila.. art!

Crayon Wax Drop Art

                             

 

What to do:  

Use tea light candles to melt the tip of the crayon. 

Once the crayon begins to melt, drop the wax 

onto paper, creating the design of your choice. 

Important to Note: 

This activity is for adults, teens, 

(or older children) with supervision. 

My children were hesitant when I introduced this activity

as they are aware of the danger of  "playing with fire". 

However, once I sat down with them and showed them

how to use the materials safely, they could not be stopped! 

   

 (For more activities check out our
"APFLH" Children's Art Studio...here)

Crayon Melting... (Week 1)

The crayons were spilling

out of the container

chubby...

skinny...

broken...

used...

donated...

restaurant collected...

You name it

We were up to our elbows in crayons,

(but instead of throwing them out)

I had several activities in mind...

Crayon Bundles

What I did:

I grabbed a crayon from each "color family",

grabbed a small rubber band, and made crayon bundles. 

(Language and Literacy, Visual and Performing Arts, Physical Development)

What they did:

They picked up the crayon bundles and began coloring! 

Since I was working with a mixed age group it was very

interesting to see the children's various "scribbling stages".

Lesson Reinforced:

Scribbling is an essential part of a child's fine motor development. 

In fact, there are actually "20 basic scribbles"

children must master before the formal writing stage

Rhoda Kellogg- "20 Basic Scribbles"

Helpful Tip: 

Keep your children's developmental age/ 

stage in mind when planning activities. 

Supervise and know your children.

Crayon Melting

What I did:

I kept seeing different variations of this idea on Pinterest

so I decided to try to make a crayon masterpiece of my own  

I grabbed a piece of canvas that the children had tossed to the side

tore up some painter's tape to spell out my name

hot-glued some crayons

grabbed my hair dryer

and quickly realized that...

I should have left the wrappers on the crayons!

"It may not turn out how you

expect, but that's art for you"



(Click here to see more crayon activities)

Resting On the Back of Something Bigger!!

What I witnessed today was...

intriguing

amazing

enlightening

and caused me to stop and consider...

success

support

life

Today as the Space Shuttle Endeavor was flown across the country

"on the back" of NASA's Shuttle Carrier Aircraft,

the pictures alone left me in awe.

And I realized that no matter...

how big you are

how brilliant you are

or

how far you've come

(even if it's to the moon and back!)

when you reach your final destination,

you will find that you have only arrived safely 

because you found rest on the back of something bigger!

Are you resting? 

(Matthew 11:28)

 Photo courtesy of NASA

Life is Like a Box of... Crayons?

I began sorting our

"big box of crayons"

into color categories...

Blue/Green 

Yellow/Orange

Red/Purple/Pink 

Gray/Earth Toned 

crayons of

-every shape and size

-some still new, others used

-some with paper, others bare

Many were... 

broken, but useful

and when my son saw what I was doing,

he was eager to help,

so together

we began peeling the papers off of the

crayons and setting them to the side

He noted that some wrappers were

easy to remove, but others fought back!

 

Since my intention was to...

melt them for a purpose

I wanted them to blend together

So, the ones that...

refused to surrender

were tossed into the trash

I also soon discovered that not all were what they initially appeared to be 

(some of the purple were not really purple, they were more blue)

The wrapper had been misleading...

causing us to sort it into the wrong pile

and also that once all of the wrappers were removed

it was much harder to distinguish

the dark blue

from the purple

from the black

They almost all looked the same without their "label"

but their true colors could be revealed..

by simply applying pressure

showing that life is like a box of crayons!

God using each of our differing...

lives

abilities

talents

styles

to color His world 

as He daily... 

sorts

peels

tests

melts

us

to make something new!

(Click the links below to follow the crayon activities)

Crayon Melting

Muffin Tin Crayons

Survey Says... FAMILY is the #1 answer!

Okay, so here's the part that you didn't get to see...

Our journey began on a "Taco Tuesday" family night as us first cousins (Jamilla, Cherrell, Eileen, Marlies and Tondra) had just finished "grubbing" on tacos, chips, homemade guacamole, sweet tea, and red velvet cupcakes.

As we were sitting around laughing, someone mentioned how much fun it would be to go on the Family Feud game show.

Well I have since learned that you should never say anything of front of Jamilla Harris unless you are absolutely serious because that girl knows how to make things happen!

I received a text a few weeks later... "Family Feud tryouts next weekend in Texas.  Let's fly down for a girl's weekend.  Call u later".

The idea in itself seemed very exciting, but after pricing airline tickets we decided the timing wasn't right.  But I have also since learned that when something is meant to be... it WILL be, and just a few weeks later Jamilla called to inform me that Family Feud tryouts were coming to us!!!  The auditions were to be held at a location less than 3 miles from my home. 

We were all super excited and screamed our heads off when they announced that the season would be taping out of Atlanta, GA!  Family Feud would be picking up the tab for roundtrip ground/air transportation, meals, and hotel accommodations... all they asked of us was for excitement to make for good television.  We could do THAT! 

The very following week Jamilla, Cherrell, and Marlies called me screaming "Congratulations, your family has been selected for Family Feud!"  I could barely make out what they were saying, but I started screaming too!  The next few months consisted of many "Taco Tuesday/Family Feud" study and practice sessions to ensure that we were ready when our time arrived. 

When the day finally arrived, we boarded the plane and headed out to Atlanta.  That evening we ate at "The Waffle House" across the street from our hotel.  I was so excited when I looked up to see my cousin Shonn walking through the door!  Although Shonn is a first cousin on my mom's side of the family, my Harris cousins adopted her as their cousin too.  Having her there made our night, and I realized that family has a way of making you feel at "home" no matter how far away you are from familiar surroundings!

The next day we arrived at the studio for taping and we had an amazing experience.  Everyone was so friendly, and all of the other families were super excited, as well.  When Jamilla introduced our family we surprised Mr. Steve Harvey with a song that I had written.

singing*

Guess who's here today... It's the Harris Family!

Look who's here today... It's the Harris Family!

We flew all the way to the ATL, to just say hi
"HI Steve"
Win the game, and take home the money!

Steve looked at us and smiled saying, "Any song with my name in it, is a hit!"

Jamilla, Cherrell, Steve Harvey, Eileen, Marlies, and ME!



Then the game was ON, and we gave it our all.  We took a round, they took a round... back and forth all the way up to sudden death!  At this point it all rested on my shoulders, and I quickly learned why it is termed sudden death. (Because that's exactly what it feels like when you buzz in first with the WRONG answer)  It is in a fact a "sudden death" that you keep playing over and over again in your mind...only in slow motion.  So we lost the game and were bid farewell with a parting statement of "you have a great family, maybe we'll have you back again some time" (If you're reading this and want to write to Family Feud on our behalf... that will not be necessary).

We headed back to the hotel and had our own "in room" party.  The girls kept trying to encourage me, but I felt like such a huge disappointment.  They ordered pizza and chicken and wouldn't let me chip in on the bill.  They reminded me that all we needed was Jesus and each other, and began to list all the ways in which we were winners.  During our conversation, Jamilla's phone rang and she stepped out of the room to take the call.  When she came back in she was wearing a huge smile as she informed Cherrell that they had gotten a call back from the ABC Network Show "The Revolution" which would be the beginning of other good things! 

(read the special post for that...here)

The following day our cousin Anita (another first cousin) and her 2 kids drove down to our hotel to see us.  I was delighted because this was my first time meeting the kids.  It was a mini family reunion!  We decided to walk across the street to get something to eat, and as we munched on chips and cheese and slurped our sweet tea, I realized that this was all beginning to feel a bit familiar.  I thought about it as I watched Cherrell reading from her menu...and it hit me.  TACOS! 

This whole saga had begun on a family Taco Tuesday night, and here we were at the culmination of our trip sitting with family that we hadn't seen in 20 years, and eating TACOS!  I finally started to see it.  Even though we had lost the game, it felt like such a win at that moment.    I love how God has a way of bringing everything back into perspective and reminding us of what really matters.

Even though it didn't work out quite the way that we had hoped, I learned that no matter what...

FAMILY is and always will be the #1 answer!!



Cornmeal and Shaving Cream... (Week 4)

Well today is the day...

"A Place For Little Hands" has officially closed

as a Licensed Family Child Care Home

It is bittersweet, and I am tired

Earlier today...

we were all running around barefoot

while enjoying our last day together

so after lunch I grabbed

a towel

a box of baby wipes and

a shallow pan of warm water

so that I could wash the children's feet 

When my mother called to see how the day

was going, I laughed as I told her that I was

washing the children's feet

She reminded me that the Lord performed this humble

service for his disciples right before He was offered up. 

I stopped laughing

grateful for the amazing journey,

and the time now come for

"A Place For Little Hands"

to be offered up...

__________________________________________

Here are the final activities

from our "spilled cornmeal"

(click here to go back)

 Cornmeal Letter Search

What I did:  

Hid letters in a bowl of cornmeal... 

(Social-Emotional Development, Language

and Literacy, Physical Development).

What they did:

The children paired themselves up (1 older child/ 1 younger child)

and played a game they made up.  The younger child pulled a

letter and challenged the older child to name something

(food, animal, color, person's name, etc... ) that began with the letter. 

This game was a lot of fun and helped the younger children

make the connection that letters represent sound.

Cornmeal Play Dough Pie

What I did: 

Put play dough in a large bowl w/ beans, unpopped popcorn,

rice, and bird seed to enhance the sensory experience. 

(Social- Emotional Development, Visual

and Performing Arts, Physical Development).

Helpful Tip:

Keep your children's age and developmental stage in mind

when planning your activities.  Some things may be inappropriate

for the little ones in your care.  Closely supervise your kiddos!

Cornmeal Goop

What I did:

Added water and glue to the cornmeal

and began stirring to make "goop" 

(Social- Emotional Development, Language and

Literacy, Mathematics, Visual and Performing Arts).

What they did:

This activity was an epic FAIL! 

The children hated everything about it... they said that it

smelled funny, it was runny, and was definitely NOT goop!

Cornmeal and Shaving Cream

What I did:

Added brushes, paint, dry cornmeal, and

shaving cream for children to mix on their own. 

(Mathematics, Visual and Performing Arts, Physical Development).

What they did:

They love, love, LOVED this activity so much

they were actually singing "shaving creeeam"!

(watch the video)

Helpful Tip:

The use of shaving cream is controversial

and in some programs is NOT ALLOWED.

Please check with your State licensing entity for guidelines.  

Cornmeal Play Dough (Week 3)

Adults suffer from childhood amnesia... 

our responsibilities to overwhelm us

and we stop

-playing in the mud

-running barefoot through the grass

-making up silly songs and singing them out loud

but working with children

has allowed me to

stay young

stay in the moment 

while learning to see more

Click here for the beginning...

Cornmeal Play Dough

What I did:

I found a homemade cornmeal play dough recipe,

set out rolling pins, cookie cutters, and play dough

scissors for the kids to finally open their bake shop!  

(Social- Emotional Development, Language and Literacy,

Mathematics, Visual and Performing Arts, Physical Development)

What they did:

To my surprise, no one showed up for the activity.  NO ONE!

I called out, "We have play dough!  Who wants play dough?"

"Not now" they answered.  What were they doing instead? 

Two of the older girls had set up a nail spa with a foot soak tub,

towels, and the promise of pretty polish!  Even the one little guy in

my care was waiting in line to soak his feet in the warm, soapy water!

Lesson Learned:

Don't anticipate... live in the

moment, and follow their lead.

Helpful Tip:

Homemade play dough that is properly stored (in a sealed

container, in a dry/cool location) can last quite a while.

Cornmeal Foot Scrub

What I did:

Followed their lead and made a cornmeal foot scrub

(oil, powder, tiny amount of dry cornmeal) for the

nail spa customers!!  Not only did the kids LOVE it, they

said it left their feet silky smooth and smelled great too. 

(Social-Emotional Development, Language and

Literacy, Visual and Performing Arts, Health)

I see more:

Go with the flow. Meet the children where they are. 

If they want a manicure/pedicure party, then party it is.

Join them and supplement THEIR ideas!

Build upon what they are interested in and support their vision. 

Cornmeal Play Dough (Cheerios)

What I did:

Put out the play dough again with a variety of play dough tools. 

(Mathematics, Visual and Performing Arts, Physical Development, Health).

What they did:

Used items to cut and poke the play dough.  We ended up

with something that looked very similar to Cheerios.

Lesson Learned:

Revisit activities.  Although the children rejected

the play dough on Monday, they enjoyed it every day thereafter.

Part of "going with the flow" is knowing when to try again!

Cornmeal Play Dough (Necklaces)

What we did:

The night before I baked the cornmeal "cheerios" in the

oven and let them cool/harden overnight.  The following day 

I set out paint and brushes and let the children paint them. 

After drying we used them for stringing. 

(Visual and Performing Arts, Physical Development)

Helpful Tip:

Make sure your children are mature enough

to comprehend that these are not for eating!  

Play Dough and Paint Dotters

What we did:

Spread a thin layer of cornmeal play dough onto a

tray, gave them paint dotters, and let them at it!

(Language and Literacy, Mathematics, Visual

and Performing Arts, Physical Development)

(Click here to see Week 4 activities)